finding back to myself

The last few months have been cloudy, at points stormy, but for the last three weeks it seems as if the sun is finding its way back into my life. Finally. Almost didn't know anymore how it feels. The energy is back. The holiday and thus a break was needed. The MC 03-04 reunion in Prague was great! The train ride, the old town square by night, the traffic jam on Charles Bridge, the food at "Ambiente", the shisha place, the communist museum, the Thai massage (yes in Czech Republic :-)), the picnic in the park and the following Jazz boat ride, the conversations about future business ideas and current challenges - just to name some of the highlights....:-)

Other highlights in the last weeks were having Kirat visit me here in Switzerland, the spaghetti evening with Fede and Amit, the almost "obligatory" red wine evening with Nicole, spending time with my godchild Joelle... etc.

For the first time in a long time I'm looking forward to what the future has in store for me...- so lets see :-)

Quarterlife Crisis

Ever since I started reading this book I feel comforted. At least I know that I’m not alone with the way I’ve been feeling for the last couple of months, it makes me feel less “abnormal”. Finally, there is a word that stands for what I’ve been experiencing ever since I came back from traveling. As trivial as it sounds, but now I know I’ve been experiencing a “quarterlife crisis”. I had started to seriously doubt myself. Not that reading a book makes the situation fundamentally different, no, but it gives me hope while struggling on. When I read some of the passages it feels as if it is describing my life right now. Here some extracts that particularly appealed to me:

“Another way the quarterlife crisis can show up, particularly in the mid- to late twenties, is in a feeling of disappointment of “this is all there is?”

“Twentysomethings frequently have the unshakable belief that this is the time during which they have to nail down the meaning in their lives, which explains why they often experience a nagging feeling that somehow they need to make their lives more fulfilling.”

“Regardless of their levels of self-esteem, confidence and overall well-being twentysomethings are particularly vulnerable to doubts. They doubt their decisions, their abilities, their readiness, their past, present, and future…but most of all they doubt themselves. No one talks about having doubts at this age, so when twentysomethings do find that they are continuously questioning themselves, they think something is wrong with them.”

I justed started reading yesterday. Looking forward to see what more it offers. Thank you so much Erica for suggesting it to me!

PS: If anyone is interested, the book is called “Quarterlife Crisis- The unique challenges of Life In your Twenties”

children of this world

During my trip last year I discovered that I really like taking pictures of chilren. At this point I want to share with you some of my favourites...

Little girl in Colombia

playing in the rain (1)

girl in a Lahu village (Nothern Thailand)

Balinese girl

boys playing in the rain(2)

sister and brother in Laos

Little boy thinking (Thailand)

boys playing in the rain (3)

a year ago

Today, it’s exactly a year ago that I started my big trip around the world. I still remember how relieved I felt to finally have finished this thesis of mine, even though I managed it only eight hours before boarding the plane and I didn’t sleep at all on my last night at home. Also the memory of the great night out with Majo and Rickesh in New York is still very present. The five following weeks which I spent in Colombia I simply will never forget. I had really no idea what would expect me during my 168 days abroad, but I wasn’t prepared was awaiting me in Colombia: this country and its people just touched my heart! Gosh, how much I miss this passion for life, how much I miss dancing through the nights. But what I miss most right now is this sensation of feeling completely alive.

My blog has been silent for a while now, not because there wouldn’t be anything to tell, no it’s just that I didn’t feel any inspiration to write. “Normality” and “reality” are draining all my energy. Being part of “normal working life” is much harder than I imagined. Not because I’m not used to working long hours or I’m not used to function under a lot of pressure. No, it’s not that. It’s this lack of inspiration, it’s the sticking to defined processes, it’s the politics, it’s the lack of purpose and meaning that’s what makes it hard for me. And also because I don’t really have anything else beside my work at the moment- work is completely absorbing me. I’m aware that I need to change something about this entire situation, yet I’m waiting for the energy to come back to actually do something about it.

So for the moment being, I will just have to pull myself up with the memories from the past and hope I’ll soon be my normal self again…

good news

Just a very quick update to share some very good news with you: I finally got
a job!! :-) As from the 1st of January onwards I will be working as a graduate and interns manager at SwissRe in Zurich (www.swissre.com). I'm really excited that this opportunity
has come through! I'm responsible for their graduate program in Zurich, meaning
everything from marketing the program, to the organisation of interviews, assessment days,
welcoming the participants, mid term reviews etc. The other part of my
job description is to set up a interns program for Swiss students. So as you see, the job description sounds a little bit like AIESEC …

The other piece of good new is that I also found a new flat already! I'll be living in Adliswil, that is about 15 minutes train ride from Zurich Main Station and my flat will be a 5 minutes walk awy from my future office...I'm really delighted to finally have my own place! Sharing an apartment was nice while being a student, but now I felt that I wanted to have my "own" place. It's a 2 bedroom flat, with a large balcony and a spacious kitchen- nothing fancy, but nice! I can't wait to have you come and visit me there. However, before that I have to get myself organized in order to move all my stuff from Brig to Zurich and also I desperately need to have an IKEA shopping day...

This weekend my parents are moving apartment as well, so that's why I have to run to catch my train to Brig soon. Right now I'm still sitting in the teacher room at school in Boltigen (near Berne), trying to sort out the millions of papers I have laying around..

looking forward to the weekend

The fact that now it is Friday afternoon and the weekend is about to start hasn't made me this happy in quite a while. I'm exhausted. It was a busy week. Some of these kids are driving me nuts. (For those who are wondering what I'm talking about: I have taken on a teacher replacement job, while I'm still hunting for a real job). Generally speaking I LOVE being a teacher, it is just sometimes when you really are being pushed, that's when you think you could do without it. But I don't want to complain, as I'm really happy that this temporary job gives me something meaningful to do, plus I'm learning heaps with every lesson...But now I'm glad the week is over. Looking forward to next week though, it should be intense.

time to re-connect

Yesterday two months ago I came back from my big trip. On one hand these two months felt very slow. Still not having a job makes you doubt and drags you down at times. The days tend to be long and you don’t feel very productive even though you are doing your best in terms of job hunting. Waiting, waiting and again waiting. Patience is a virtue I now have some practice in. Nothing concrete has come until now. Yet I’m positive that during the next two weeks some doors will open…

On the other hand it time has passed very quickly. I wrote my last two exams and now officially have my bachelor degree (finally ! :-)) , I spent a lovely day with Nicole, I chaired EuroCo 07 in Lithuania (I’m still missing the faci team), I went to the Bernese wine fair as well as to concerts and theatre productions, there many evenings when I just cooked for family and friends and where we had a great time catching up over a glass of red wine, then we had such a cool MC 03-04 reunion combined with Fabo’s 30th birthday…these were just a few of the highlights.

Connection time. I’ve decided that for the next 1.5 - 2 years this will be my motto. That’s the reason why I’ve decided to stay in Switzerland and not to look for a job or an internship abroad. I want to re-connect. I want to again invest in friendships and not just maintaining them. I want to be there when things are happening in other peoples lives. I want to settle down- for a while. I want to have a base. I’m really looking forward to having my own place and not live in a shared apartment. Also I want to explore Switzerland and get to know my own country a little more, after I have seen so much of the world already. And last but not least I want to take up some new hobbies: I already have too many ideas…- but most this will only become more concrete, once I know where exactly I’ll be working and living. In the meanwhile, I enjoy imagining how my near future could look like.