I ve come to a conclusion
I've been wanting to update this blog for weeks now, there would be so much going through my head these days that I'd like to share with you, but somehow I find it really difficult to focus at the moment, just to sit down and do what I have been planning to do. This for the context.
As far as the content is concerned, something some of you may have been wondering, yes I have come to a conclusion regarding my next steps. I'm NOT going to apply for AIESEC International. A decision I took already 2-3 weeks back. A decision that I'm not sure though if it is the right one, that's something that bothers me a lot. It is the easier one for sure. Up until now I have been strong enough to go for the "path less travelled", not minding too much what other people thought would be the right thing to do, as long as I was convinced of my own steps. Now this seems to have changed.- I seem to have changed in this regard. Or am I too tired to flight?
The decision I took was mainly externally oriented-going with what people around me expected me to do. I wasn't ready to put in danger my upcoming 7 exams in February/March, as I'm already behind with studying anyways. I wasn't ready to have transition in June, in case I would have been selected and at the same time write my other 8 exams. Too much stress and pressure. I wasn't ready to break my studies once again. It is a high price I pay for finishing these studies. Many things I have had to say no to lately, just to make sure I can finish them as quickly as possible. It is a situation I'm not used to, usually I'm not very good with turning down opportunities. I've only I had this degree already, my life would be so much easier.
Besides that I also feel that there are so many things I'd like to do before I'm 35. - not to mention that anyways I think that my life is too short for all the things I still want to do before I die, for all the ideas that I come up with in my little head...:-)
It is very tough for me these days, seeing all the other people applying, stepping up to the challenge, going through this amazing process, going for what they think is the right thing to do. My heart wants to do the same. But this time my reason - my mind has won the battle.
3 Comments:
I completely understand you on this one Caro. Everyone around tells me that it was better for me not having been elected...(and apparently some also voted against me to prevent me from going throught that stress. I couldn't believe it when I heard it...It took me so long to make that decision, why don't people let me think for myself? Do they know how much I wanted to be on the MC? But I do get their point somehow) I understand the rational point of view, because I, too, need to finish my studies and shouldn't endanger my graduation again :-s But on the other hand it makes me endlessly sad that I'm not able to do what I really would have wanted to do. Oh well, at least I can say I have tried in my case...Try to stop thinking about it for now, give another shot after graduation ;-) It shouldn't be too late afterwards...And maybe you'll be glad once you've finally got that that darn University certificate. It could come in handy in the future. But don't listen to what others say. Sometimes the only person you can trust is yourself...do what feels right TO YOU and what makes you happy :-)
Big hugs, Carissa
Thank you for sharing this with us Caro! Very honest!
Hugs,
Maria
Dear Caro,
you always will represent for me a great person, also if you will not apply for AI. You gave me a lot of motivation and will be always a pleasure every time I will meet you.
Every time in our life we will find this kind of choice...some times we will go...sometimes not...but the important thing is to be happy of your life...and you can do that...Proud to be your friend....
a big hug from your italian amico Gianpy
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