Life is tough - if you are short

Always, when I'm supposed to be studying, I come up with all these ideas of things that REALLY need to be done: cleaning the bathroom, tidying my room, buy a new camera, updating my blog...so you see, I'm in the middle of exam preparation- I do almost anything to get away from my books....:-)

There was one situation I wanted to share with you: today on my way home from uni I stop by the supermarket to buy some groceries, and also a few other things, among them a bottle of wine. As I approach the counter the lady asks me : Est-ce que vous avez déjà seize ans?!?- Since I wasn't paying attention, because I was thinking something else plus my French is not all that good, (yes Jo, I know we should have had these French Wednesdays :-) I asked her to please repeat. And again she goes: Est-ce que vous avez déjà seize ans?!?- So again I translated the sentence in my head, and I was 100% sure she had asked whether I had already reached the age of sixteen!!! I hardly could believe it: the only thing I could stammer was, yes I'm already twenty six, packed my things and left!

Ok, now everybody will go, oh take it as a compliment, in 10 years you will like with people think you are younger than you are. Yes and to some extend I agree, but to be asked whether you are 16 when in fact you are 26, going on 27 is NOT compliment!!!

But actually, I should be used to it by now: in the past I had a girl at the ticket office asking me whether I got a brick on my head(!) when I told her my real age, in the bank the lady at the counter asked me whether I was sure I had so much money on my account when I told her I wanted to withdraw 500$, and last but not least when I was 18 and walking on the beach with my friend Judith (she is as tall as me) and a guy in his late twenties, he was accused of being pedophile, because the people thought we were 13! - tja, that's life when you merely messure 5 foot- 153cm :-)

Now I need to return to my books. Good night!

I ve come to a conclusion

I've been wanting to update this blog for weeks now, there would be so much going through my head these days that I'd like to share with you, but somehow I find it really difficult to focus at the moment, just to sit down and do what I have been planning to do. This for the context.

As far as the content is concerned, something some of you may have been wondering, yes I have come to a conclusion regarding my next steps. I'm NOT going to apply for AIESEC International. A decision I took already 2-3 weeks back. A decision that I'm not sure though if it is the right one, that's something that bothers me a lot. It is the easier one for sure. Up until now I have been strong enough to go for the "path less travelled", not minding too much what other people thought would be the right thing to do, as long as I was convinced of my own steps. Now this seems to have changed.- I seem to have changed in this regard. Or am I too tired to flight?

The decision I took was mainly externally oriented-going with what people around me expected me to do. I wasn't ready to put in danger my upcoming 7 exams in February/March, as I'm already behind with studying anyways. I wasn't ready to have transition in June, in case I would have been selected and at the same time write my other 8 exams. Too much stress and pressure. I wasn't ready to break my studies once again. It is a high price I pay for finishing these studies. Many things I have had to say no to lately, just to make sure I can finish them as quickly as possible. It is a situation I'm not used to, usually I'm not very good with turning down opportunities. I've only I had this degree already, my life would be so much easier.

Besides that I also feel that there are so many things I'd like to do before I'm 35. - not to mention that anyways I think that my life is too short for all the things I still want to do before I die, for all the ideas that I come up with in my little head...:-)

It is very tough for me these days, seeing all the other people applying, stepping up to the challenge, going through this amazing process, going for what they think is the right thing to do. My heart wants to do the same. But this time my reason - my mind has won the battle.

Decision making time

"My basic principle is that you don't make decisions because they are easy;

you don't make them because they are cheap;

you don't make them because they're popular;

you make them because they're right."

--Theodore Hesburgh

The question is now: what is right for me ?

Where do I find the answer to this question?

Will my personal development continue in AIESEC or elsewhere?

What do I prioritize: "now" or "later"?

How will this decision fit to my long term goals?

Would I be strong enough to go against what most people are advising me to do?

As you see, many questions, but yet no answers.

So I keep searching inside me.

Trying to hear what my inner voice is telling me.

Patience is needed. And so is courage and vision.