Thursday, March 27, 2008

a year ago

Today, it’s exactly a year ago that I started my big trip around the world. I still remember how relieved I felt to finally have finished this thesis of mine, even though I managed it only eight hours before boarding the plane and I didn’t sleep at all on my last night at home. Also the memory of the great night out with Majo and Rickesh in New York is still very present. The five following weeks which I spent in Colombia I simply will never forget. I had really no idea what would expect me during my 168 days abroad, but I wasn’t prepared was awaiting me in Colombia: this country and its people just touched my heart! Gosh, how much I miss this passion for life, how much I miss dancing through the nights. But what I miss most right now is this sensation of feeling completely alive.

My blog has been silent for a while now, not because there wouldn’t be anything to tell, no it’s just that I didn’t feel any inspiration to write. “Normality” and “reality” are draining all my energy. Being part of “normal working life” is much harder than I imagined. Not because I’m not used to working long hours or I’m not used to function under a lot of pressure. No, it’s not that. It’s this lack of inspiration, it’s the sticking to defined processes, it’s the politics, it’s the lack of purpose and meaning that’s what makes it hard for me. And also because I don’t really have anything else beside my work at the moment- work is completely absorbing me. I’m aware that I need to change something about this entire situation, yet I’m waiting for the energy to come back to actually do something about it.

So for the moment being, I will just have to pull myself up with the memories from the past and hope I’ll soon be my normal self again…